Good Grief!

      We are hurt, our heart aches or is broken in two.  We lose someone we love, much too soon.  We mourn.  We lose a relationship.  We mourn.  We lose our freedom and go to jail.  We mourn.  We lose our health.  We mourn.  We lose a job and financial security.  We mourn.  We all go through the stages of grief no matter what the loss.  If you ever took lifespan Psychology in college your probably familiar with Elizabeth Kubler-ross.  She defines the stages of grief/mourning in her model as Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.  These are not in chronological order, we all experience them in different ways and at different times and for different reasons.    Grief is a process that brings us to the end of ourselves.  It doesn't feel good, but in the end grief is good.  Without that process we could never get over a loss.  In Matthew 5:4 Jesus said, "Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted"  Jesus Himself will comfort us when no one else can.

   People are uncomfortable with a grief stricken person, and many try in vain to help and instead only make the grieving person feel worse, less holy, or even more alienated.  Some people quote those "catch phrase" scriptures, give pat answers and a quick little "Jesus loves you", with a smile.  These responses are almost abhorrent to a person who is grieving.  No real help for a person during their most painful times.  They need something real, something solid to hold onto.  No special prayers, no special trips to the alter, no special scriptures.  The Lord Jesus.  That is Who they need.

    The first time I got a Diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis, my world went on full tilt.  I loved God, I loved Jesus.  Why would He punish me like this?  All I could see were the myriad of patients I had taken care of as a Nurse over the years, in various stages of losing control of their body.  First I denied I had the disease, because by "faith" I thought that was what I was supposed to do.  I quoted scripture day and night to no avail, I still had the dreaded thing.  I have come to realize with God there is just no formula we can use to get what we want, or to get the answer we want to a prayer.  I then became angry at God, why me? (now, I wonder, why not me) All this pain! All this lack of feeling, trouble walking! ARG! My bargaining wasn't so much asking God for more time as it was to ask Him please to use this for my good and His glory, although when I first said it, there was not much conviction in it I must admit.  I became depressed.  All I wanted to do was medicate myself from the pain and escape the reality of the situation.  I had gotten so tired of people ushering me to the alter to get healed.  I finally realized God could heal me right in my bed or on my couch if He so chose.  But why didn't He? yet (I am still alive, so there's time if He wants).  I finally came to acceptance.  But not the kind people in the world have.  Where they become their disease and it envelops their lives.  You know the kind of person that all they can talk about is their "condition" That actually makes me nuts!  But, I pray God will give me the patience to love on those people as well, because its only by His grace that I have a renewed perspective. 
    My acceptance came like this.  God wanted me to look at what was in front of me-Multiple Sclerosis, Lyme Disease, Fibromyalgia.  Then look at what the Doctors said "Your brain is like Swiss cheese".  Well they told me I had multiple lesions/holes on my brain so that's what I heard.  They told me that I was functioning at a much higher level than they expected with someone who had an MRI like mine.  When I looked at that, as a Nurse, I knew that the grace of God was the only thing sustaining me.  I came to terms with the fact that God knew better than me, what was best for me and my family, and was using my health or lack their of on a number of different levels.  I now have a greater compassion for the patients I take care of.  I have been where they are!  I know what it feels like to be in pain and to be afraid.
  Through this trial, I have come to realize how much I need Jesus and need to rely on Him.  I wouldn't trade anything in the world for that knowledge, because I KNOW he's real.  I cannot know if I would've needed Him or known Him as well without losing my health.  If I'd had a choice ahead of time I am sure this is not the way I would've chosen.  But here in the midst of these things I am content !  I am so very blessed that He chose me to use! for 2 Corinthians 12:9 say “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  It has taken me years of fervent prayer, heart full of anguish and many tears to come to this conclusion.  So I don't expect everyone to be where I am.  I just want everyone to know no matter what your going through that Jesus is real, and He loves you.  He can handle your hurts, He knows what they are.  He can handle your anger, He is a BIG, BIG GOD! He made you, He knows you.
Dear Jesus please bless my readers Lord, that whatever trial or painful event they are dealing with, comfort them in their pain and anguished hearts.  Fill their lives with your love and your peace.  Help them to be real with You about how they feel about You and the pain they have or are experiencing.  Let them leave their hurts at Your feet, let them lay their burdens down, and give them the peace of God that passes all understanding, in Jesus name, Amen.